When I was a little dick nugget, the two things I loved the most in life were Weed, and NES games. But it never came. I liked SPONGEBOXXX so when SPONGEBOXXX: Trollpasta of Trollpastas came out it was like a sex dream cuming true. Well, almost. To cum it up most of the game revolved around getting through very reptitive PATRIXXX levels while smashing up things like hyper realistic PLANKTONXXX's and sea shit, and then fighting evil variations of patrick such as surprise patrick and LATRIXX. However after PATRIXXX's health bar was destroyed he would die. Which betrayed SPONGEBOXXX lore. Overall it was pretty fucking bad, but back then I did not care. When I got the game for my 134th birthday, I played with it, I slept with it, I fapped to it as much as I could.
Then I traded it for a shitty game called "Fuck-O-Tittysoaurus". Meaning I had to get my sex buddy Bootman Bill to see if he could find a copy of SPONGEBOXXX:Trollpasta of Trollpastas.
I was drugged up to play my favorite guilty pleasure game. It never even accured to me to ask were Bootman Bill found it. He also gave me some other games like the Legend of Link,Terriostman, and some stupid thing that was never released on the NES called Action 52,but SPONGEBOXXX had to come first.
So I started the game,and the cliche I...mean nostalgia feeling came flooding back like the great wave of 1996. SPONGEBOXXX's 64-bit theme song flooded through my uncompatible speakers and I was grinning like a idiot and then I wondered how could would it be if I had a system that would let me take impossible to take screenshots but then I realized that would be impossible for a NES and I would have to use a emulator but for the sake of defying physcis I choose not to.
Some fuckards who are fucking stupid poke fun at me for playing such outdated games. It is like when people make fun of my for sleeping with cougars. Anyways back to my shitpasta I...mean creepypasta. I feel like NES games were more safe despite shitty games,no reviews,no internet to say if a game sucked donkey dick, and constant ripoffs. But after this game...I do not have that stupid as fucking shit opinion anymore.,
I had never forgotten the boringness of smashing things as SPONGEBOBXXX whore off in the scrolling levels. The game bomabrds you with sea shit and things gangbanging you from every direction, and you're too dry of a sponge to avoid most of the shit. Although my fun had whore down some,it wasn't long before I got to my first battle.
My first dick butt to murder the fucking shit out of was love patrick, an obscure SPONGEBOBXXX character that had never been in a SPONGEBOXXX movie,game, or porno.
The most sexy thing about Love Patrick is that he would swallow you whole and have sex with you with his tentacle inside his mouth. This move doesnt do any damage, but it can still stall you till the timer runs out you have to start it over and he regains some health.
It is not as annoying as it sounds but he did when I played it. Only then though did this pasta get shitty. The game glitched and he would not stop penetrating me in the asshole with his tentacle. Now the game is supposed to have forty second battles but this lasted for up to 999 years. After awhile the graohics went to anus and well...whatever the fuck this shit is appered all over the place.
Which was fucking impossible, but I just took the game out,cummed into it,and then started. I wasn't going to a let a impossible technical error stand in may way. So I started again and this time defeated Love patrick and the other boss monster named Surprise Patrick.
So I went to the next arena called MARS, some fucking candy planet. I loooked around the board and I saw something impossible: where Sir Patrick place should have been, there was instead a piece representing SQUIDWARXXX. There were only 412 SPONGEBOXXX characters in the game and SQUIDWARXXX was not one of them.Or so I remembered. Perhaps SQUIDWARXXX but was swapped out with Sir Patrick for some reason?????????????
So I began to feel very drugged up and I was not only playing my sex buddies game, but I was playing some sort of totaly not photoshoped character! Needless to say I ran through the levels as fast I could to see SQUIDWARXXX in action.
Fought Love Patrick again and beat the living casket out of his balls, but this time the glitch started happening when he died. Love Patrick's sprite didn't sink to the bottom, but instead possesed by the glitch and more whatever the fuck they are started to appear all over the screen again.
I know these impossible glitches with Love Patrick were my first big,motherfucker,glaring warning sign that something was very wrong with this game. But because I am a fucking idiot I ignored it,and proceeded on to fuck...I mean fight Surprise Patrick, who this time had another photoshopped picture I made of its own:
Surprise Patrick was twice the surprising shock value than what he should have been,which startled me again...He also was harder to use gangbang attacks on him. However after the help of mORGAn Freeman I defeated Surprise Patrick but yet another cliche glitch happened:
This happened so impossibly fast I was beyond fucking lucky to get a hyper realistic screen cap of it. Then the surprisingly shocking Surprise Patrick started to "twist". I also found a porno code in the text.
At this direct point in the space time contium I was able to fight SQUIDWARXXX, I was worried of whatever cliches I would find but this time that did not happen. SQUIDWARXXXwas awesome! He had the hyper realistic eyes and the futuristic glassses too.
After a very fun fight with a character that wasn't supposed to be in the game, I took over the enemy base and proceeded not to SEGA Jupiter like normal, but instead to... "Lathos".
Written by GamerRanger